My Thoughts About Love Victor's Final Season

I watched the final season of Love Victor last night and my feelings were complicated, to say the least. I was really, really excited for this season and I felt like it really didn't live up to what it could have been. When they announced that the third season would be the last season and would only be 8 episodes, I was concerned. And as it turns out, I was right to be concerned. Having said all this, I didn't hate the season, I was just disappointed and didn't love it either.

Let's start, like we have in the past, with looking at the different characters. I want to start off with (surprise, surprise) Victor. One thing I have appreciated is seeing how much he's grown over the course of three seasons. In the first season, he relied on Simon very heavily because he didn't have anyone else to talk to while he figured stuff out. Then, in the second season, he would turn to Simon less and less frequently as things with Benji progressed. The whole sex message debacle turned out to be very much a one off last season, and a very amusing one at that. the season ended with Victor telling Simon that he could stand on his own now that he had a support system in place. This season, we never heard from Simon at all. And that was a good thing. Victor has learned to stand on his own and has been getting better about standing up for himself and what he want/needs. He's still not great about it all the time (I totally relate to this!), but he is better.

Victor and Benji have a tremendously complicated relationship. Turns out that Benji's drinking never really stopped, he only drank when he was stressed. I was glad to see him go to rehab, because he needed the help, but also because it gave him a chance to really work on the shit that gave them trouble last year. As I said in a prior post, "I think Benji was feeling tremendous pressure to be the perfectly knowledgeable boyfriend/guru, which is not a good combination. He seemed to feel that he couldn’t share his feelings with Victor because he didn’t want Victor to shut down, but he needed to find a way to share them. When he didn’t, he exploded at Victor and one thing led to another and they took a break. Benji seemed to think that he couldn’t be vulnerable or needy or anything other than the strong flying buttress of support. And no one can be that." Because Victor was so new to everything, Benji felt that he had to be ok with everything and that led to him bottling things up, which led to the fight at Benji's birthday dinner and the fight when Isabel walked in on them having sex. I loved that Benji decided to really take time and work on his own stuff.

I can't say I'm as fond of his decision to completely walk away from Victor for most of the season. I get not wanting a boyfriend, that really makes sense. But Victor is also his friend and that is where I have trouble. That being said, what Victor and Benji have is really intense, so I don't know if Benji could have been just a friend with Victor. It's really, really obvious that Victor and Benji really care about each other, like when Benji saw Victor upset in the hall and came up to find out what was going on. That was really cool, but I also think Victor had the right reaction. Benji wanted to cut off contact and then they met through the app (which was completely hilarious, BTW) and then Benji's dad came over and told Victor in no uncertain terms to stay away from Benji. More on that in a bit. So Victor's getting mixed messages about what Benji wants, is conflicted about the award, and is generally feeling like he is just hurting people. Was he a unfair to Benji? Maybe a bit, but I also think the reaction was completely understandable. All that said, the tie these two share is undeniable. Hence, Victor going to make a final plea to Benji to not go to boarding school and the ending make sense. And I'll have more to say about the ending later.

As for Benji's dad, I wanted to hurt him so badly. I know that he thought he was protecting Benji, but he really wasn't. He just saw Victor as someone who was hurting Benji and refused to see that his own actions had caused and were causing so much more damage. Between telling Benji he wasn't smart, the homophobic comment about not wanting Benji to be gay, to taking Benji to the strip club, to insisting that Victor was bad for Benji, he just kept causing damage. And trying to foist off Benji's relapse as all Victor's fault? That pissed me off so much. Laying all that on a 16-year old is just beyond unfair and just makes me see red. I was so glad when Victor told Benji what his dad did and I also loved that he completely ignored Benji's dad when he went to talk to Benji. That was fun.

And parents being clueless about how to help their kids and the damage they were doing to their kids was really a theme this season. Ok, this has been happening for the entire show. The first season, we had Isabel and Armando fighting constantly and Lake's mom belittling her in the name of "improving" her. The second season, we had Isabel's horrible reaction to Victor's coming out, more about Lake's mom, Mia's dad lying about Stanford, and Benji's parents just being clueless upper class white parents (sorry, I can't think of another way to put that). This season we had Isabel trying to set Victor up with Nick over Victor and Armando's objections, Armando being way too overprotective where Pilar was concerned (it felt really misogynistic), Lake's mom continuing to put Lake down, Mia's mom, Rahim's mom shoving Rahim back into the closet, and Benji's dad. Interestingly, the only parent who we saw who wasn't this way was Felix's mom.  And that was because their relationship has been one where Felix was the parent figure and now she can be and is really stepping up. I loved that both Lake and Rahim sat down with their moms to explain how their actions were causing pain. That was a good thing.

And now we have Isabel. I love the fact that she really was trying to make up for what she did. She was feeling really, really guilty over how she treated Victor and Benji and she was determined to be the perfect ally for Victor. So much so that it annoyed Victor. But, unlike last season when he was only really able to swallow his thoughts to avoid conflict or get upset at her, this season he very calmly explained that while he appreciated the thought behind what she was doing, she really needed to listen to what he needed. And she did. This is the relationship that Victor really could have used last season. When he and Isabel sat down and actually talked through stuff, it was really amazing. She gives good advice and is a great listener. It was definitely really nice to see them together again.

As for her introducing Nick, this is one area I was definitely conflicted about. First off, I wasn't happy that they brought in a new love interest in the last season, especially because it was a short season. I did appreciate that he did help Victor get through some of the time after Benji broke up with him, but I cannot say I felt any spark between the two of them. Don't get me wrong, they were gorgeous together and they were obviously physically attracted to each other, but I can't say that I ever felt like there was anything more than that. So having the two of them not stay together was a good thing, particularly after Nick realized that Victor was still majorly hung up on Benji.

As for Victor trying to help Liam, that just made me cringe. I get that he really did have good intentions, but in trying to force a bond with Liam to help him, he massively overstepped. The reason Simon was able to help him and the reason he was able to help Rahim was because he and Rahim reached out to get help. Liam never did. Victor just heard the notification from the app go off and realized that Liam had the app to and decided to just step in. Not a good idea. That said, he seemed to have learned his lesson, so hopefully he won't try that again. And seeing Liam and Nick end up together was sort of funny.

As for Rahim, he and Victor had a rocky road this season, First, Victor chose Benji and then just tried to pretend that everything was ok with Rahim without ever actually checking in to make sure Rahim was ok. And then there was the award. This was the tricky one. I get why Victor was reluctant to take it, but I also really get why Rahim was insistent on Victor taking it. Being awarded for existing (as Victor saw it) does seem a little degrading and infantilizing. However, what Victor was missing is that the award meant a lot to people like Rahim, people who aren't as straight passing as Victor is. Seeing the homophobia when the group was at the restaurant was shocking because there hasn't been that much blatant homophobia in the series. Yes, there were people on the basketball team who were being homophobic when Victor came out and Rahim did meet up with the femmephobic guy at Brasstown, but it wasn't as bad as what we saw there. And that really opened Victor's eyes. I hated that it took that to open his eyes, but it was nice to see Victor learn from Rahim. Victor never meant to hurt Rahim, but he managed to several times. Seeing Rahim end up happy with Connor was really nice.

And now about that ending. That was one part I really disliked. Let me start off by saying that I am not a fan of ambiguous endings. I appreciate that they didn't want to end it like this was the end of their life or their story, but I really think we deserved more of a concrete ending than what we got. I assume that Victor and Benji got back together given the fact that they were kissing, but I am really not sure given that Benji was talking about how he still had a lot of stuff to work on. I really felt that having some sort of coda on the end would have made it so much better. Not a flashforward through their whole lives, but if there could have been a scene of the Victor, Benji, Lake, Felix, and Andrew graduating with Victor and Benji together and happy, that would have given us more of a sense of closure and finality for this chapter of their lives. Instead, it just petered off which left me feeling incredibly unsatisfied, a little confused, and not happy. I did like that they let us know people's next steps, but the whole thing also felt a bit rushed.

I would actually say that about most of the season. It felt like they knew where they wanted people to end up and they came up with stories to explain it. It's not that the stories didn't make sense, it's that they felt a little inorganic. If they had a longer season or even just one more season, I think it would have made everything a whole lot better. Just overall I can't say that this season was anywhere near as good as the other two and that was a big disappointment for me personally.

So now onto other characters. Let's start with Benji. We got to see how he ended up drinking and we got to see the leadup to and the aftermath of the Accident. I really did appreciate seeing the troubles he had. In the first season, he was pretty chill and seemed to have it all together. That came apart in the second season when he and Victor fought and the third season explores why Benji is the way he is. He is someone who is always anxious and drank to combat that. As for his parents, while they may have wanted the best for him, they never knew how to help him. In fact, they caused a lot of his problems. Watching Benji blame Lucy for the pics of guys in various states of undress was both amusing and cringeworthy. I probably would have done something similar. Actually I did, only it wasn't to my parents. It was to my roommate the first semester of my junior year at college. I let him use my computer and he stumbled across some pages I looked at (no nudity, just shirtless or underwear shots from what I remember). So I totally related. I just wonder if Lucy ever found out about that. And I loved that Benji eventually decided to let Victor know about his feelings. Unfortunately, just like last season, he has a horrible sense of timing. Of course, that's expected from a drama, so it wasn't shocking.

I did love watching Benji and Rahim together. Benji was, for obvious reasons, pissed at Rahim. As for suspecting Rahim released the news he was in rehab, I get that but it was also a tad bit unfair (from an outsider's perspective). When it turned out that Rahim ended up being Benji's tutor, I just giggled. Forcing the two of them together was a good thing. It let Benji see that Rahim is not the awful person he thought he was, while also giving Rahim the chance to see Benji as a person. So it was something they both needed.

I'll also say that I am glad there was no real love triangle this season. I am never fond of those, so not having one made me happy. As for my thoughts about a triad, I still think it would have been nice, but given all the givens, I feel like it was a good thing that it didn't happen. I don't know if Benji would have been in a good enough place emotionally to handle an open relationship. The other issue is that the intensity of Benji and Victor's feelings for each other would probably have caused problems for the third person. And Rahim deserved better than that. I do think he and Victor could have been good together, but seeing him happy with someone who accepts him as he is was such a wonderful ending that I'm just happy for him.

Now for Felix and Pilar. I have to say that I sympathize with Pilar when it comes to hiding things from Armando. Watching him not know how to handle her having a boyfriend was how I was expecting him to act regarding Victor being gay last season. He was all machismo and misogynistic overprotectiveness and it was ugly. I really did not like him for a while. As for Felix choosing to not get Armando and Isabel mad, I have a lot of sympathy. It's obvious that he had to grow up way too fast and he never really had a solid parent figure in his life. He had to take care of his mom when she was unwell and be the adult in that relationship. So having parental figures who were actually parents was something he needed and couldn't just give up. I don't know what that means for him and Pilar (again, their ending was really ambiguous), but it seems like they're at least friends again.

Lucy and Lake were adorable. Watching Lake completely freak out about being attracted to Lucy and various other things (like sex with her) was actually adorable. There were some parallels between Lake and Victor in terms of coming to terms with their identities, but there were also a lot of differences. Neither Lake nor Lucy never labelled themselves. Based on what we saw, I would guess that Lake is bi or pan and that Lucy is a lesbian. My guess about Lucy mainly has to do with the fact that she indicated that some stuff had made her some to realizations about herself and I am assuming she is referring to Andrew here. I could be completely wrong about her, but that was my sense. The fact that they never labelled themselves is something that seems to be more and more common. I see a lot of youth insisting that labels aren't important, and when you're younger I really get that. You're figuring things out and trying on different labels to see what works. However, for me, I find labels to be really important. Not because they box you in, but because they let people know who you are and they can help you find a group with similar interests. That said, using or not using a particular label is a really personal thing and I get why some people may not use them.

Mia and Andrew. You know, I really wish they just wouldn't have gone to see Mia's mom because it was such a wasted opportunity. They got a great actress and barely used her. I know there could have been a lot of reasons for that, but it still felt like it was nothing more than a device to sort of reconcile Mia and her dad. I get why Mia was upset about her mom going to Prague, but expecting her mom to just drop a fellowship she had already accepted on a moment's notice was massively unfair. I get why it was important to Mia, but it was also such a bad idea and she way overreacted to what her mom said. I enjoyed seeing her and Andrew together and loved seeing her figure out how she could still fit into Lake's life given that Lake now had a girlfriend. I also loved seeing her visit her dad and Veronica and thought that moving back out there was the right thing to do under the circumstances.

As for Andrew, that boy has grown up a lot since we first met him. He's still cocky and self assured, but he's not the asshole he once was. He figured out how to let the good person he was on the inside finally shine through, and that was a good thing. Was sacrificing his chance at letting a scout see him at a game to go with Mia to Palo Alto a good thing? I have my doubts. While I get that he's trying to be there for her, especially considering her abandonment issues, I'm not sure it was the right thing. That being said, I also get that he had to do what he felt was right.

I don't really have much more to say right now. I plan on rewatching the third season tomorrow night and seeing if I have any different reactions. If I do, I will post them here Saturday morning. But tonight, I will be rewatching Heartstopper for the 13th time. To sum up my feelings about this season, I felt that they could have done a lot better. A lot of the smaller beats felt good, but the ending and some of the bigger beats, particularly between Benji and Victor, just felt like they didn't live up to what it should have been. If I was ranking the seasons, I'd go Season 2 as my favorite, Season 1 as the middle, and Season 3 as my least favorite. Maybe that's gonna be controversial, but it is where I am right now.

If you have any thoughts, comment below.

Some Thoughts About the New Version of Gossip Girl

So I've been watching the new version of Gossip Girl on HBO Max and I've gotten through the first 6 episodes (the episodes before they took a short break). I watched the first two last fall, but couldn't get into it. But I heard good things about it and decided to give it another try. I'm not exactly regretting my decision, but the show is definitely not a great show.

I loved the original, even if it was completely wacky and severely problematic. It was a fun show to just immerse and lose yourself in for a brief period of time. Were the characters sometimes annoying? Oh, hell yeah. But they were also memorable and it was fun watching some of their convoluted plots play themselves out. I fell like the show lost its way in the last couple seasons and became too convoluted, but it was still fun to see.

The new version doesn't really have any of this. None of the main characters are super memorable. While I don't love drawing comparisons between characters from rebooted shows with characters from the original, here it is hard not to do, particularly since this show has taken great pains to tie itself to the original. So here are the comparisons that I see:

Julien is more or less a Serena lite with some Blairness thrown in. She's missing the drug habits and wants to rule/influence people (this is the Blairness part, Serena rarely actively wanted to rule unless she was pushing back against Blair), but she has a lot of Serena like qualities. I wish they had gone one way or the other. The show needs a Blair to really push things. And Monet doesn't count, because she's a supporting character, not a main character. 

Obie is a mix of Dan and Nate. He has a lot of physical similarities to Dan (particularly when he is the t-shirt and hat at the Halloween party) and he seems to have some of Dan's morality and wanting to support the non-elite, but he also has definite elements of Nate in his niceness some of his other attitudes.

Zoya is a mix of Dan and Jenny. She is definitely the outsider and wants to fit in, but she is also much less likely to compromise her morals the way Jenny did. 

Aki has Nateish elements. Like Obie, he is really kind and often the voice of reason. 

Max is Chuck (well, mostly). He is also the best of the characters IMNSHO. He's not quite as amoral as Chuck, but he chases anyone who catches his eye. I am definitely enjoying him.

Audrey doesn't seem to have a counterpart in the original. There's a bit of Blair in her in terms of attitude, but she is missing Blair's sense of entitlement to rule everything, which is part of what made Blair so much fun to watch. The closest she came to this was when she kept haranguing the hospital staff. I don't enjoy the haranguing itself, but it was still fun to watch because of its Blairishness.

Not going to bother with the adults except to say that having the teachers be Gossip Girl is just creepy and a large part of the reason I am not sure how much I actually want to keep watching this (there's more on other reasons below). I loved not knowing who Gossip Girl was in the original and really wish they had kept it that way.

As for Luna and Monet, I have a few thoughts. First off, Monet is the closest thing we have to a Blair on the show (although she is more of a Georgina in some ways). But unlike Blair, she wants to be the power behind the throne rather than being on the throne herself. And Luna is a somewhat interesting character, but also not really memorable. Also, I wish they would actually say whether or not the character is trans. When I look up character descriptions, she is labelled as trans (and the actress is trans), but (unless I completely missed it), they have never said so on the show. If they want her to be trans, they really need to say something explicitly because it isn't even hinted at.

My other big issue with the show is the pacing. Every time I see an episode, if I pause at some point during the episode, I invariably feel like I have been watching it longer than I actually have been. Like I'll think I'm 30-45 minutes in, but only be like 15-20 minutes in. It really drags a lot. This is not a good sign. When the show feels a lot longer than it is, that is a sign that the show is just not well paced.

I'll probably finish the first season, but unless the last 6 episodes are a *DRASTIC* improvement, I don't think I'll be back for a 2nd season. 

Some Thoughts About the Trailer for Love Victor Season 3

So it's finally here! The trailer for the third season of Love Victor has come out and I have some thoughts about it (I know, a total shock!).

A large part of the trailer focused on who Victor is going to choose. I've made my thoughts on that clear (see past blog entries for more), but lets deal with what we can see. Based on the trailer, I suspect that Victor goes to Benji's house because there are several shots of them talking in formal wear about what is going on between Victor and Rahim. Victor clearly wants to be with Benji, but he also clearly has feelings for Rahim and he tells Benji as much. At some point, Benji says that in order for them to have a chance, he needs to work on his own issues. I was so happy to see this because I have been saying that Benji has crap he needs to work on and that he and Victor need to work on stuff before getting back together. It also appears that Victor and Rahim remain friends and that Benji avoids them, at least for a while. He also makes it clear that he is not fond of Rahim, for understandable reasons. This tension is probably going to last the entire season. My bet is that Victor is going to pull a Simon, that is, he is going to invite the person he really wants to be with to ride with him on the ferris wheel in the last episode.

And then there is Nick, the new character played by Nico Greetham. Based on what we are seeing, it appears we have another contender for Victor's affection. Nick is someone Victor meets at church, so it appears that we will be exploring a more accepting version of religion this season, which will be nice. I have to say that I really hope this is one sided because I am not sure how many complications they can sort out in 8 episodes. Unless, of course, they're going for polyamory or Victor dating all three of them at once. That could be cool.

Lucy and Lake are officially going to be dating! I am curious what this means for the two of them. I assume they're both either bi or pan given that they've both been interested in and dated guys, but I could be wrong. Seeing them have 2 girls in a relationship is going to be really cool and interesting. And Felix's response to Lake's announcement was just funny. He was clearly flummoxed and was trying to be supportive, so naturally, he starts babbling.

Felix and Pilar keeping their relationship a secret from her parents? Not entirely sure why. His parents like Felix, so it can't be that. I gonna guess that it has something to do with Felix sort of being a part of the family, but I could be wrong. And it appears that the secret keeping is her idea, not his, so this could definitely be a source of tension for the two of them.

Mia and Andrew are going strong and they both seem to want their relationship to last forever. Not sure how likely that is, but you never know. And we see them seeing her mom, so this could be a very interesting ride. Given the fact that we see Mia holding a baby (presumably her half-sibling) and we see them in school, they come back after visiting her mom.

We don't get a lot about anyone else other than glimpses, so not a whole lot more to say.

So here are a couple of guesses about what will happen:

In episode 1, Victor and Benji talk and Benji leaves. I am betting that either in the episode or at the end, there will be a time jump to have Benji gone for a while and then coming back.

As I said above, in the last episode, Victor is going to try a last gambit to be with the guy he wants and will invite them onto the ferris wheel.

Given the descriptions released earlier, it seems that this season goes into their senior year (hence part of the reason for the guess about the time jump). Victor receives an award of some sort (the speech scene) and the descriptions talk about the gang making decisions about their future, so this really makes sense. It seems that season 2 was probably the first half of junior year (based on the first season being the 2nd half of their sophomore year), so if they want to do senior year, there is going to be at least one major time jump. A time jump in the beginning makes the most sense. It's also possible that there could be a time jump near the end of the last episode. For example, Victor goes on the ferris wheel with the guy he wants and then they have a time jump to their graduation or even further ahead.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

An Open Letter to Netflix About Heartstopper

Dear Netflix,

I'm not sure where you are in your process about whether or not to renew Heartstopper, and I'm not sure if one letter will make a difference, but here it goes.

I am a queer, transfeminine, non-binary individual who is 44 years old. Given my age, I am well outside of the target demographic for Heartstopper. But this show is a show that is tremendously important (for three examples, see here, here, and here; and there are a lot more out there) to a lot of people of wildly varying ages. There are teens who have used it to come out to their parents, who can see themselves finally portrayed in a joyous way on television, or can see the challenges that a lot of queer youth face.

For adults like myself, this show produces feelings of melancholy and intense joy. The melancholy comes because we never had this growing up. Growing up, I only ever heard jokes about queer people, I never heard anything good about being queer. If there was a queer person on TV, they were either the completely unsexualized sidekick or some sort of devious villain who backstabbed people or acted in other nefarious ways. Even queer movies were, for the most part, centered around sadness, trauma, and pain. Sure, you might have a movie which ends happily, but the path to getting there was one of pain because of the amount of crap the people had to get through to be with the person they loved. But seeing two teenagers who are falling in love and seeing it portrayed like it is on Heartstopper where their sexualities are important but not the focus of the show? That was something that I never would have even dreamt of. Seeing it now does bring on the intense feeling of joy because the new generation will be able to see this lovely relationship as it is growing and developing, just like cisgender, heterosexual people have seen their relationships grow and develop onscreen for decades.

Another reason this show is so important for me as an adult is that it allows me to have some experiences that I never had growing up. I always knew that I had feelings for guys growing up, but because of society and religion, I forced those feelings down and tried to erase them from myself. I never got to experience that young feeling of falling for a guy and just being with them. Did I have crushes on people? Absolutely, but I never allowed myself to even examine them because I was scared about how my family or friends or society might react. I had a teacher in middle school who people assumed was gay. He got sick and it was bandied about that he had AIDS (this was in 1990) and he was laughed at and about. That sort of thing is a big part of the reason that I never acknowledged to myself that I was queer until after I graduated college (I came out around 2002 at the age of 24). Seeing Charlie and Nick's relationship develop (and seeing how Tara and Darcy develop theirs) allows me to experience these joys that I was denied when I was younger.

A third reason the show is important is less personal and more about the queer community. Studies have shown that the more authentic queer stories are told and as acceptance of queer people (particularly in our personal lives) grows, it helps to cut suicide rates of young queer people because they feel seen and loved. A show like Heartstopper helps teens know that they are not alone and it has helped form online communities which can be tremendously important for them. It gives them places where they can connect with other queer people, share any difficulties that they may have, and also allows them to build a community of shared interests. Also, because the show is so popular with older queer people, it allows for intergenerational communities to be formed where queer people of all ages can talk about the show and can also support each other.

I know Heartstopper is not the most popular show you have, but I truly believe it is one of the most important. Its meaning to the queer community is not something that can be measured financially. Its meaning is one of queer joy and love. It allows us to see ourselves portrayed in a way that cisgender, heterosexual people have for a long, long time. I don't know any of the financial stuff around the show, but I do know that this show needs to continue on. It is too important to just let it die.

Sincerely,

Mychel Vandover

TV Schedule for 2022-2023

 It looks like this season will be the lightest season I have ever had. CW cancelled Legends of Tomorrow, 4400, and Batwoman; NBC cancelled The Endgame; Supergirl and This Is US ended; and I stopped watching Superman & Lois and Stargirl this season. Right now, there are only 2 shows that I am intending to watch: La Brea on NBC and The Good Doctor on ABC. I am considering 2 shows on the CW, but I am not entirely sure if I want to start new shows since so many shows get cancelled. So at the present time, here is my schedule:

Sunday: Zip, Zero, and Nada

Monday: 10 pm- The Good Doctor on ABC

Tuesday: 9 pm- La Brea on NBC

Wednesday: Zip, Zero, and Nada

Thursday: Zip, Zero, and Nada

Friday: Zip, Zero, and Nada

Saturday: Zip, Zero, and Nada

As always this doesn't include several shows on the Food Network or streaming shows that I watch b because they don't follow the same schedule.

My Thoughts About Heartstopper

To state the obvious, there are spoilers in this. Please do not read any further if you don't want to be spoiled.

So I watched Heartstopper last night and it was absolutely lovely. It was very much like Love Victor's first season in that it was about young love and figuring out who you are. The show is based off of comics written by Alice Oseman, who also wrote all of the episodes. She wrote these comics to tell the story of how Nick and Charlie met and became a couple. She had previously written a book called Solitaire (which is next on my reading list) which was about Charlie's sister Nora. In Solitaire, they were already a couple, so Alice decided to tell the story of how it happened. If you haven't read the comics, you should do so. I was able to finish each volume (there are currently 4) in about a half hour. I read very quickly, so it will probably take other people longer, but it is worth the time.

Speaking of the comics, I have been having some second thoughts about whether or not I should have read the comics before watching the series. On the one hand, reading the comics (I read them for the first time about a month ago and then again over the course of the last week) gave me the opportunity to really fall in love with the characters. On the other hand, there were several scenes which I was expecting which I suspect lost some emotional impact because I knew how they would turn out. There was only one scene where I was truly emotional and that was in the last episode when Nick had the rugby ball and was looking around for Charlie. When he saw him, he tossed the ball and ran off to the sidelines. When he did that, I immediately sat bolt upright, my hands flew up to my mouth, I muttered "Is he really?", and I started to tear up (I am actually tearing up now just thinking about it). When he took Charlie's hand right in front of everyone, I said, "He did!" and teared up even more. That was a big step for Nick and I was so proud of him. I tell that story because I seriously suspect that there were other moments where I would have had a similar reaction if I wasn't expecting them. But that point is really moot, it just makes me wonder.

Before I get to my thoughts about the rest of the season, let's look at the thoughts I posted on Wednesday about the episode titles. When I posted those thoughts, I was trying to figure out what scenes from the comic would translated into which episodes. And all of my guesses were pretty much spot on. There was a lot that wasn't in the comics, but that wasn't covered by my guesses. Here's what I said:

"[1] Meet- They meet and Charlie joins the rugby team

[2] Crush- Nick realizes he has a crush on Charlie and is trying to figure out what to do

[3] Kiss- The party, Nick and Charlie kiss, the misunderstanding

[4] Secret- Nick and Charlie sort their stuff our, Nick works on how to come out

[5] Friend- Nick continues to work on how to come out, to the world they are friends, the bowling party

[6] Girls- The concert, Nick comes out to Tara and Darcy

[7] Bully- Dealing with his dickish friends at the theater

[8] Boyfriend- Nick and Charlie go to the beach, Nick comes out to his mom"

The one big thing I missed was Nick and Charlie coming out to Elle, which happened earlier in the show than it did in the comics.

As I said earlier, there was a lot in the show that wasn't in the comics. This really isn't surprising since you can do a lot more on screen than you can on a page. We got to know Tao, Elle, Darcy, and Tara a lot better than we did in the comics and we got two new characters: Isaac and Imogen. I do have to say that I am not really sure why Imogen was added. She really only seemed to be there to cause a bit of drama between Nick and Charlie. Before I saw the episodes, I assumed that she would be replacing Tara as someone that Nick had been interested in at some point, but that wasn't the case. Instead, she was a girl who was interested in him and who asked him out after he realized he liked Charlie. I'm glad that he ended up gently turning her down, but she didn't really seem to have a point other than that. Well, and the scene where she declared herself to be an ally to Tara and Darcy. (Sidenote: If you are not a member of a particular minority group, you don't get to declare yourself an ally, only a member of that group can declare you to be an ally. OK. Thanks!) As for Isaac, he also didn't seem to do a lot. He mainly sat around reading and staying out of all the drama. This morning, Alice said that she wrote him to have aroace vibes (see https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=aroace for a definition), so maybe it was a way to get some aroace representation into the series. Assuming the show comes back for a second season, I'd love to see both of them get more substantive stories.

A couple of more general thoughts before looking at characters. First off, I loved how the show used comic drawings to illustrate strong emotions or fantasies. Like when Nick went to ask Charlie to join the rugby team and Charlie was imagining Nick telling him that he is gay and asking Charlie out. Or when they were going to hold hands and you saw sparks or flowers or something like that. Or when Elle was looking at Tao with affection and hearts were circling around her head. Or when Charlie's world shattered and the screen was broken up into sections. I loved seeing that and it really helped drive home that the show in based on a comic. The second thing is the way that the show allowed for perspectives outside of Nick and Charlie's. We got to see Tao and Elle talking about how Tao was hurt that Charlie was growing closer to Nick and we got to see Higgs which we never saw in the comics. Because we got to see Higgs, we got to see Elle adjust to being there and we got to see her become friends with Tara and Darcy. Getting to see these things helped to make the world richer and also gave the supporting characters a story outside of just being Nick and Charlie's friends. The third thing is that because the show had more time, it really helped fill in some gaps that weren't as explained in the comics. I'll get into those in individual character's paragraphs.

Ok, now is the time for my thoughts about the show. I'll go through character by character since that will be the easiest way to organize it. That way, I can go through all the episodes with a particular character and then repeat with the next.

First off, Charlie. I have to admit that doing Charlie and Nick separately is not going to be that easy since this season was mainly about how the two of them became a couple. That being said, they both have their own things happening, so I'll focus mainly on that. When we first meet Charlie, he is periodically meeting up with a boy named Ben who is saying the right things, but whose kisses leave a hell of a lot to be desired. The kisses we see barely occur and are tremendously tepid. By the middle of the first episode, we realize that the reason for this is that Ben has a girlfriend and is either trying to figure out his sexuality (and is so far in the closet, he is visiting Narnia) or he is trying to hurt Charlie. I suspect the first, but the question is never really answered. Anyway, Charlie breaks things off with Ben and falls for Nick, who is really nice to him and invites him to join the rugby team. Watching Charlie and Nick figure their stuff out was so cute. I loved how, like in the comics, Charlie was reassuring Nick that it was ok to not be out. Since Charlie was outed rather than coming out, he is really sensitive to that. This led to something that was hinted at in the comics, but made much more explicit in the show. When Charlie and Nick are talking about how it's ok that Nick wants to keep their relationship a secret, Nick is worried that he is putting Charlie through what Ben did. To Charlie's credit, he realized this was happening and quickly reassured Nick that these were two different things. The other thing which was more implied in the comics, was the amount of emotional damage that both being outed and Ben had done to Charlie. He has become so used to being put down by other people and being used that he expects it and even tells Nick that it's ok when it happens because he is used to it. I love that Nick was adamant that these were not ok. We are definitely seeing seeds being planted about Charlie's anxiety and his anorexia, but neither has been directly addressed yet. Other than this, most of Charlie's story really tracks with the comics. He and Nick start going out in secret, Nick's friends (particularly Harry) are really dickish, Charlie's friends don't understand what is going on, and they ultimately start openly dating (although without a big coming out announcement).

I wanted to devote a paragraph specifically to Tao and Charlie. These two are really good friends and there is a lot of damage inflicted that could have been avoided if different choices had been made. A lot of the damage inflicted on the friendship is a result of Nick not being ready to reveal that he and Charlie are dating. Because of this, Charlie can't explain to Tao how he knows that Nick is a good person. The thing is that Nick's friends were among the people who really bullied Charlie when he was outed the previous school year. Because of this, Tao doesn't trust Nick or his friends. And I can't say I blame him! Because Charlie has a habit of downplaying the effect of things that happen to him, Tao is not entirely sure he can trust what Charlie is telling him about how Nick is different. But because of all of this, Charlie doesn't tell Tao that he and Nick are dating, even when the rest of their friend group knows. It's never stated outright, but I really suspect that Charlie was upset that Tao was making things worse by verbally retaliating against Harry and that Tao was being jealous of Charlie and Nick's friendship. Given all the givens, I don't see how this could have turned out differently. Ultimately, I think more of the blame lies at Tao's feet. I do get that he was trying to be a good friend, but the choices he kept making made it hard for Charlie to tell him that he was dating Nick. Notice that Charlie had no problem telling either Elle or Isaac, and neither of them were as openly hostile towards Nick as Tao was. Not that most of what happened was Tao's fault, but I do think his choices played a bigger role in their estrangement. I do love that we got to see Nick go to Tao and talk with him. It gave the two of them a chance to clear the air, gave Nick the impetus to go look for Charlie, and gave Tao what he needed to make up with Charlie.

Speaking of Nick, watching him figure out who he was was absolutely delightful to see. Meeting him at first, he seemed like the "nice jock" stereotype. Some of his friends (particularly Harry) were the "awful jock" stereotypes, but Nick was always different. We never saw him be mean to anyone, although he did do a lot of sitting around while awful things were being done, which is a definite character flaw (albeit an understandable one given his age). It wasn't until he became friends with Charlie and started to get feelings that he started standing up to his friends when they were being mean to people. A lot of this flowed from something that is very understandable: peer pressure and wanting to fit with your friends. Also, as Nick said to Imogen, "Do you ever really feel like you're only doing things because everyone else is and you're scared to change?" This is the central struggle Nick has the entire season. He knows he like Charlie and he knows that he wants to be with Charlie, but he is trying to figure out what this means when it comes to who he is and how he lives his life. When he told Tara and Darcy that he and Charlie were dating, it was absolutely adorable. And when he acknowledged to Charlie that he is bisexual and that he wants to be with Charlie, it made my heart sing. I absolutely loved the beach scene and when Nick came out to his mom, it was beautiful. Her reaction was almost perfect. I wasn't super fond of her saying that he didn't have to say he liked girls. On the one hand, it was nice that she was encouraging him to be open and honest. On the other, it was treading really close to the stereotype of the gay guy who uses bi as a stop on the way to being "truly gay". That being said, it was really nice to see Nick figure out that he is bi. Watching him focus on both Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom when he was his mom were watching Pirates of the Caribbean was really cute. That was when it really struck him that he really was attracted to both guys and girls.

Now for some Charlie/Nick stuff. Their pasts definitely caused some issues with their getting together. Given how badly his outing had gone, Charlie was understandably very nervous about the same thing happening to Nick. That was good since Charlie was very understanding about Nick needing time, but it also was exacerbating Charlie's anxiety and contributing to his feeling that he was not good for either Nick or Tao after they both got in fights with Harry when in fact he was wonderful for Nick and what happened with Tao we looked at above. And Nick knowing about how badly things went with Charlie was causing Nick some problems. He was worried that he was being like Ben and he was concerned about how to come out himself. All that being said, watching the two of them discover being in love was so much fun. From tentatively taking hands to the first tentative kiss to the other much less tentative kisses to figuring out when and how to come out was oh so sweet. And in the last episode (most of which was not in the comics!) when Nick left the game to take Charlie into the school? Oh, my queer heart was fluttering a mile a minute.

Now for Elle. she is a trans girl who came out as trans not long ago. She had been going to school with the guys, but transferred to an all girls school after coming out as trans. Seeing real positive trans representation was lovely. She is really a lovely person and it was so nice to see her make friends with Tara and Darcy. I also loved that we got to see her and Tao have some scenes alone. You could see that there is a really deep friendship there and you could also see that there was definitely more. I really had to feel for her when she figured out that the milkshake outing was an attempt to get her and Tao together. While Tara, Darcy, Nick, and Charlie really were trying to help, I can totally see how and why it was an overstep and it was nice to see everyone look somewhat chagrined when she called them on it. Although the fact that being there gave them the opportunity to acknowledge to her that it was a "triple date", hence letting her know that Charlie and Nick were an item was a wonderful thing, as was her reaction.

As for Tara and Darcy, these two really can't be separated. 95% of their scenes were together, and the only time this wasn't the case was a scene or two when Nick was talking with Tara alone. I got the impression in the comics that the two of them were pretty much out to the school, but that was definitely not the case in the show. I did enjoy seeing Tara working her way to being open, but the reactions they showed were really, really bad and it really made my heart ache for her. I was glad to see Darcy be such a support for her and the rest of the friends will also rally around her as needed. Other than being an adorable couple, most of their story was serving as an inspiration for Nick about what his relationship with Charlie could be.

When it comes to Tao, I don't have a lot to say that I haven't already said. It was nice to see him and Elle get some screen time together and watching him and Charlie grow apart was heartbreaking. So yeah, refer to what I said above regarding Tao and Charlie or Tao and Elle.

The rest of the characters really were just secondary. Harry and Ben were antagonists. Seeing Nick go after both Ben and Harry when they were being awful was nice to see. Harry in just awful and homophobic and tries to laugh it all off as "being a joke". I talked about Ben above, but I just wanted to add that he is an unspeakably cruel individual. Between the time he sexually assaulted Charlie (yes, forcing someone to kiss you is sexual assault)and the time he told Charlie that no one would want to be with him, he is just awful. He may be very confused, but he is also just cruel. As for Isaac and Imogen, I already stated my feelings. Tori (Charlie's older sister) was just fun to see. She had some wonderfully delivered lines and when he broke down crying and she just held him, it was lovely and heartbreaking. I loved Mr. Ajayi. He's a gay teacher (I'm assuming gay, he only ever talks about liking guys, so the implication is there) who let's Charlie eat in his room when things get to be too much. He is such a wonderful support for Charlie and Nick. And I loved, loved, loved, Nick's mom. I know her from the show Broadchurch, so seeing her in this was quite nice. The only issue I have with her is that she assumed Nick was straight, which is never a good thing. That said, it is so common that it is hard to fault her for it. But she handled his coming out with such love that it really made up for it. And as for her line apologizing for anything she did to make it harder for him to come out? That was right out of the comics and it stole my breath away it was so lovely.

I know I plan on watching it the next few Fridays, so I may write more about it another weekend. I really hope we get a season 2, because I want more!

Thoughts About the Heartstopper Episodes

So the premiere of Heartstopper is in two days and they released the episode list. As I was reading the episode titles, I was thinking about where they might fit in the books. Based on the titles, I think that the season will cover the first two volumes of the Heartstopper books. The episode titles are:

[1] Meet

[2] Crush

[3] Kiss

[4] Secret

[5] Friend

[6] Girls

[7] Bully

[8] Boyfriend

So the first three titles match the titles of the sections of Volumes 1 and 2, but the rest don't match section titles, so we know that the titles won't exactly match the sections in the books. It's possible the first and second sections will line up with the sections in the books, but I doubt it because the first two sections are the entire first volume of the books. So below, I am going to take a guess as to what each episode will be about. After Friday, we'll have to see how close my guesses are. On Saturday, I plan to write a review of the season.

[1] Meet- They meet and Charlie joins the rugby team

[2] Crush- Nick realizes he has a crush on Charlie and is trying to figure out what to do

[3] Kiss- The party, Nick and Charlie kiss, the misunderstanding

[4] Secret- Nick and Charlie sort their stuff our, Nick works on how to come out

[5] Friend- Nick continues to work on how to come out, to the world they are friends, the bowling party

[6] Girls- The concert, Nick comes out to Tara and Darcy

[7] Bully- Dealing with his dickish friends at the theater

[8] Boyfriend- Nick and Charlie go to the beach, Nick comes out to his mom

Really curious about how close my guesses will be. For the record, I haven't seen any spoilers other than the trailers and the episode names.

Hopes for the Third (and Final!) Season of Love, Victor

So today (February 8, 2022), Hulu announced that Love, Victor’s third season, coming out on June 15^th, will also be the last season for the show. I’m definitely sad about that, but also hoping that the writers will be able to wrap everything up in a nice way. Not sure why they're stopping here, since this will just be the rest of their junior year, so going for another season or two to finish high school would make more sense, but they are. And there are only 8 episodes instead of 10, which also concerns me a bit. Just really hope that they can wrap things up nicely. 

So, I wanted to write up some ideas about what I would like to see for the final season. These are going to be paired as couples for the most part because that is an easy way to look at them given the genre. I will discuss individuals in each as well as the pairings.
 
[1] Victor- I would love for Victor to not pick between Benji and Rahim. I really want him to pick both of them. Romance is (with almost no exceptions) depicted as being a binary choice between person A or person B. Why not date both of them? Polyamory is a very real thing and it is has almost no representation on TV, so having a good polyamorous person would be cool. Both Benji and Rahim are good for him in different ways and he loves them both, so why can’t he date both of them. Not sure if this would technically be a triad (do you all have to be dating each other for a triad?) or not, but it would be cool to see. If Victor does pick Benji, the two of them have some serious work to do given how quickly things fell apart last season. As for Benji and Rahim, I just hope that they are happy.
 
[2] Mia and Andrew- Gotta go with these two together since they left to look for Mia’s mom in the finale. I really do hope they stay together because they are absolutely adorable together. I also hope Mia finds some peace. She is the person who has a lot of personal drama because of other people and she deserves a break. I also really hope she and her dad make up. He has some serious groveling to do because of the way he outright lied to her. He told her that he would do what she asked and then broke that as soon as he could. He needs to seriously repair their relationship if he wants things to work out.
 
[3] Felix and Pilar- This was a couple that I didn’t really see coming. I can’t say I am super fond of the two of them together, but I am willing to be open minded. Other than that, I can’t say I honestly have a lot of particular wishes for either. Other than romantic relationships or Felix and his mom, they have mostly been in a place of supporting Victor. Now that Felix’s mom is in a better place, I really hope the two of them can relax and enjoy themselves.
 
[4] Lake and Lucy- This is the one that promises to be the most interesting. I am really curious to see where this goes. Other than a few compliments, Lake has never really expressed any interest in women, but when Lucy was blatantly flirting with her, you could tell she was intrigued. I am looking forward to seeing the two of them figuring things out. It promises to be a fun and interesting time. I also look forward to seeing Lake and Felix get to a place where they can be friends. I also really want Lake to stand up to her mom and tell her how toxic she can be.
 
{5] Armando and Isabel- So it appears that they are back together, which will be nice. And now that Isabel has finally come around to accepting Victor, I am looking forward to seeing him bring his boyfriend(s) to the house.
 
[6] Adrian- Not a whole lot to say here. He has not been in it much at all, so I can’t say I have any hopes for him at all. It might be nice to see more of him, but not essential.
 
I would also love to see the series explore a more accepting version of religion that exists. I appreciate that they showed the reality that there are a lot of religious people who don’t accept queer people, but it would be nice to see an accepting, affirming church, not just one that is “less awful”.
 
Until June 15^th!